The Lewisberry Maker School

Inner dialogue: “I can’t draw compared to everyone else.”

Comparisons are so hard not to do. We can see the work of other people all around us.

Inner dialogue: “I am so jealous. Their work is amazing. I can see with my own eyes how my work compares to theirs. How can I ignore this? Why should I create anything? I know it just doesn’t compare. Theirs is Just. So. Good. Mine. Is. Not.” (Insert mental image of a temper-tantrum-foot-stomping-arms-crossed-head-shaking little kid here)

For myself, I asked God and the Universe for the answer. “Why can’t I do it? Why am I not as good as other people?” I received the answer by listening to different podcasts about owning businesses. I didn’t fully receive the answer in one listen, one day or even one month. It has taken over a year of listening to more podcasts and then ALSO reading books about creating, writing, owning a business and practicing my spirituality and then ALSO watching videos about making art. All the things. Always trying to make myself better…. but better than who? and better than what?

I had heard the answer repeatedly over that time, but I didn’t or couldn’t fully receive it. I wasn’t quite ready yet. It just didn’t sink in. I didn’t believe in it. Finally, however, I became so frustrated with all of my personal judgement, I just started over. I colored in coloring books. I started to color because in my heart, it felt so good and it bought me joy. It was fun. It was easy. It was accessible. I started at the beginning before I judged myself. Coloring. Then I painted things that made me happy. I created for the pure joy of it and not because anyone else was going to see it, but because it made me happy. It made me smile.

Once I started coloring and creating again for just myself, I fully received the answer. Maybe because you are here, right now, you are ready to receive it.

You are not the people around you. We all have different paths and journeys to be on and yours has brought you to this spot to start wondering and questioning the possibility of creating. Others are further along in their journey. They have had different experiences. A different story. They are not you. You are beautifully made. Listen to your heart. Listen to what it tells you.

Inner Dialogue: “Hmmmm…interesting”.

What on earth could I do with that? Well, let it sink in more I guess. When I write, when I cook, when I paint, when I crochet, when I draw, when I try something new like calligraphy or watercolor. It is really just me now. I’m not in a classroom full of other kids that might laugh at the colors I choose. I’m not showing any “trusted” adult for approval. I don’t have to show my husband..unless its food. Then he has to try it and eat it no matter what.

So how do you accept yourself as you are? Understand your own journey. Look back on it. Can you pinpoint that moment that made you feel sad and less then when creating? Do you have to embrace it or love it? No. It is what it is. But how can you move forward? How can you change the narrative? How can you remove the words “I’m not good at art, I can’t draw”.

Look for the opportunities. Start small. Find a coloring book. Find some colors that when you touch them and see them they make your heart smile because they are beautiful or pretty or soothing and just the colors you need. Start by changing the inner dialogue. Start by approaching the moment with curiosity and a willingness to try. And just allow. Just color.

Inner Dialogue: “I am right where I belong at this moment. Just me, and I allow myself to be happy here, with myself and what I made”.